1. You still have to work nights, but at least you get to spend it on your back.
2. No charting!
3. You only have to keep them alive for 30 minutes- not 12 hours.
4. Pillow therapy means something completely different.
5. The only person to micromanage you is your pimp.
6. You only have to service one person at a time
7. Evidence-based practice? They “finish.”
8. The only thing better than wearing scrubs to work, is wearing nothing to work.
9. If someone pees on you, you can charge extra.
10. Groin management is welcomed and not feared.
11. If you get hit as a prostitute, you can press charges.
12. Patient satisfaction? No surveys!! (See #7.)
13. Frequent fliers mean you’re doing a good job, not a bad one.
14. Cash tips.
15. You actually get paid when someone tells you, “hey honey! Look at THIS.”
16. STDS are easier to clear up than C-Diff or MRSA.